Please be aware that Counselling or Psychotherapy Treatments are not a substitute for professional medical care by a qualified doctor or other health care professional. Always check with your doctor if you have any concerns about your condition or treatment. Clients are responsible for assessing the outcome of their treatment and are advised to refer to NICE guidelines for further information.
Please note that talking therapies are not intended to replace allopathic and conventional medical treatment and care. Nor are they intended to replace formal diagnosis and treatment by a qualified medical practitioner.
Talking therapies may give information or guidance that could bring about positive change and such information or guidance is given for the client to consider/ Although the therapist will be supportive and as helpful as possible in all decision making and change processes, any resulting choices and changes made by the client do remain the personal and legal responsibility of the client.
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Before participating in any of my website or blog recommendations, I recommend that you consult with a physician or other Medical and Mental Health Provider.
Gina Bate Counselling Coaching and Psychotherapy is not to be perceived as or relied upon in any way as medical advice or mental health advice. The information provided through Gina Bate’s website and blog is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment that can be provided by your own physician, nurse practitioner, physician assistant, therapist, counsellor, mental health practitioner, licensed dietitian or nutritionist, or any other licensed or registered health care professional. Do not use my content in lieu of professional advice given by qualified medical professionals and do not disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking professional advice because of information you have read on my blog, or received from me.
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Some Useful Tips and Ideas
Here are a few tools and ideas that you may find helpful.
Many of these I have either found in books or on the internet or from attending courses. I have placed them here as I hope that you may find them of interest. Please feel free to browse and if you wish to discuss further with me at one of your sessions.
MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MYSELF
What is it?
We are all human and a part of being human is that we have inadequacies and we are faced with difficulties and struggles and we can all make mistakes. We can respond to ourselves with compassion and kindness rather than being cruel and judgemental. Think about the compassion you show towards others. When someone describes their own failings as a human-being you may tell them it is ok and how you try to help and understand them. Do you do the same for yourself? In a nutshell it is treating yourself with the same care and compassion that you would a friend.
How do you show care and love to others? Depending upon who it is you will have differing ways to show you love and care for them. It could be by just making time to be with them or having time to listen to them. Is it selfish to do the same for yourself? Or maybe asking for your own needs.
"One thing is for sure, whoever you are and wherever you are, the person inside of you will be with you every second of every day … so this is a relationship that is very special and important to ensure long lasting happiness and contentment". Gina
Therefore if you haven't made that person inside of you your greatest friend why not grasp the opportunity now and see what a difference it can make.
The following has been taken from the website of Dr Christanna Hibbert
Take a look at some of these self care quotes below;
“With every act of self-care, your authentic self gets stronger, and the critical, fearful mind gets weaker. Every act of self-care is a powerful declaration: I am on my side; I am on my side; each day I am more and more on my own side.”– Susan Weiss Berry
Looking after yourself doesn't mean "me first" it means me as well.
“How we care for ourselves gives our brain messages that shape our self-worth so we must care for ourselves in every way, every day.”
– Sam Owen
“The love and attention you always thought you wanted from someone else, is the love and attention you first need to give to yourself.”
– Bryant McGillns
“Self-discipline is self-caring.”
– M. Scott Peck
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”
– Audre Lorde
“Taking care of yourself doesn't mean me first; it means me too.”
– L.R. Knost
“I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival.”
– Audre Lorde
“It's not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It's necessary.”
– Mandy Hale
“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs, and habits – anything that kept me small. My judgment called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.”
– Kim McMilllen
“Self-care is never selfish, but it may feel that way when you live a frenzied life.”
– Arthur P. Ciaramicoli
“Put yourself at the top of your to-do list every single day, and the rest will fall into place.”
The following article has been taken from PsychCentral
Practical Tools for Developing Your Self-Worth
By Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.
updated: 8 Jul 2018
~ 3 MIN READ
So many of us think we’re unworthy or worthless or not good enough. We might feel this way because of our past or mistakes we’ve made. We might feel this way because some people repeatedly told us we’re unworthy. Or because we haven’t accomplished what we wanted to accomplish. Or because we haven’t fulfilled a number of expectations we had for our lives.
In her valuable book Who Am I Without You? 52 Ways to Rebuild Self-Esteem After A Breakup, clinical psychologist Christina G. Hibbert, PsyD, writes about a method she developed for experiencing and feeling our true self-worth. She calls it the “Pyramid of Self-Worth.”
According to Hibbert, “The basic premise is that, instead of creating our sense of self by what we think, or how we look, or what we do — self-esteem — we must first build our sense of self-worth by going deep inside, into our soul.”
The pyramid consists of these components:
Self-awareness: seeing ourselves exactly as we are, including our strengths and weaknesses.
Self-acceptance: accepting all these parts of ourselves.
Self-love: learning to appreciate ourselves as we are today and as we grow. This includes self-compassion, self-care and giving and receiving love.
Self-worth: by practicing the parts above, we start to feel our true worth. Self-worth is a lifelong process.
Below are exercises and insights from Who Am I Without You? to help you cultivate your self-worth.
Explore who and how you are. Explore your traits and behaviors. Get honest with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses.
In fact, Hibbert suggests compiling a list of each. Because uncovering our weaknesses, she writes, helps us understand ourselves. “It’s good to expose your weaknesses, to get them onto paper and see that they’re nothing more than a word or trait or emotions that you can either continue to fight with, accept, or change.”
Hibbert defines a strength as any “trait we use in particularly helpful ways.” That’s because a positive trait can become negative depending on the circumstances. Traits are neutral, according to Hibbert. It’s what we do with them that deems them strengths or weaknesses. Then “choose one strength to strengthen and one weakness to improve.” Start small.
According to Hibbert, self-acceptance is unconditional. Ironically, it’s unconditional self-acceptance that leads to growth. Self-acceptance is a process, which happens day by day and moment by moment. It requires work.
Go back to your lists of strengths and weaknesses. Say each one out loud, and consider how it feels. Traits that are easy to say and own are the ones you’ve already accepted. Anything that feels hard, naturally, is not. As you move about your days, be mindful of the traits you’ve yet to accept.
“When an unwanted weakness rears its ugly head, take a deep breath and repeat, ‘I see this, and I accept that it is.‘” Do the same with your strengths.
Hibbert includes this beautiful quote on self-love from Alan Cohen: “To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don’t wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now.”
Again, taking good care of ourselves is part of self-love. Hibbert separates self-love into five parts: physical self-love; emotional self-love; mental and intellectual self-love; social self-love; and spiritual self-love. She suggests seeing what your needs are in each area and writing them down.
Next, pick the top three needs you think will contribute to your optimal well-being. Then pick one to work on today. And then keep working on the others.
For instance, your physical self-love might include eating foods that give you energy, moving your body in ways you enjoy and treating any physical or mental health conditions. Emotional self-love might include seeing a therapist and journaling about your experiences and emotions.
Mental and intellectual self-love might include reading, trying new things and learning something. Social self-love might include going to dinner with a good friend, joining a club and signing up for an activity or class.
According to Hibbert, “getting in touch or reconnecting with your spirit is one of the best things you can do for your physical, emotional, mental and social health…” Spiritual self-love might include praying, meditating, listening to music, being out in nature and reading sacred texts.
This last part of the pyramid focuses on growth. As Hibbert writes, it’s all about “letting yourself feel and embrace your worth as you widen your focus to see your potential.” Here, she suggests creating a “To Be” list to figure out the things you’d like to be. This might be everything from becoming hopeful to developing a natural talent to overcoming a specific challenge.
Learning to like and love ourselves takes time, work and practice. But it’s fulfilling work. It’s work we’ll never regret.